Food for Thought
For my introspective friends who enjoy journaling and deep conversations
Standing in My Power: Validate Yourself
Wednesday, August 31st, 2022
This is a new one I’ve been practicing. There is no greater power than validating yourself! Knowing that your feelings are valid, your truth is real, your perspective is uniquely yours, no one can take that from you and when you start to value your own validation over others’ validation, it’s a game changer!
I caught myself in this cycle of seeking validation from others when I felt some way (angry, frustrated, sad). Why was I looking for someone to confirm or deny what I was feeling when they can’t possibly fully understand my truth? I lost the victim mindset and took back my power.
All we’ve ever needed is within us. If you’re feeling called to something, trust that. You have the answers and you have the potential. You don’t need anyone to confirm nor deny what it is you’re experiencing. Give that to yourself.
The Mountain Is You by Bianna Wiest really shined light on my self-sabotaging cycles
Standing in My Power: Boundaries
Wednesday, August 24th, 2022
Thank goodness for my therapist introducing me to boundaries! Before therapy, I had never even heard of the concept. I didn’t know “No.” is a complete sentence.
Boundaries aren’t about cutting people off; boundaries help you maintain healthy relationships. There are many types of boundaries like time boundaries, material / financial boundaries, physical boundaries, sexual boundaries, intellectual boundaries and emotional boundaries.
Creating and maintaining boundaries gives you back control of your life. By no means does this mean boundary setting is easy. Think of it like a muscle that strengthens over time. As a recovering people pleaser, I said “yes” to things I didn’t really want to do because I was afraid to disappoint those around me by saying “no.” There’s discomfort when upholding my boundaries but man, do I feel so much peace finally saying “yes” to myself. I now make decisions that align with my values and my boundaries help keep me accountable. I feel in control of my life and no longer swayed and manipulated by others and their agenda.
I’m not one to teach on boundary setting but I will share 2 resources outside of therapy which have been helpful for me.
This Set Boundaries workbook.
June’s coaching theme on boundaries available to pro members here.
Standing in My Power: Consumption Audit
Wednesday, August 17th, 2022
After last week’s blog post, I got to thinking how essential it is to do a consumption audit as you question and undo cultural conditioning.
What are you consuming? Who do you follow on social? What movies, shows and podcasts do you listen to? Who are you regularly around?
It’s necessary to pause and reflect on this from time to time because we’re forever evolving and to continue supporting who it is you are and becoming, your environment needs to be encouraging of that.
There is so much power in this because you get to choose! You have complete control over who and what has access to you. Take back your control! And over the next few weeks, I’ll show you how I’ve done just that.
Standing in My Power: Undoing
Wednesday, August 10th, 2022
Your truth is your power but what exactly is your truth?
To discover your truth, you have to clear away all the other voices in your mind. You have to undo the cultural conditioning.
I love working with youth; during a chapter in my life, I was a Behavioral Technician providing therapy to individuals diagnosed with autism. My clients ranged from 3 to 13. My favorite part of working with youth was experiencing how authentic they are to themselves. Have you noticed how in the moment and imaginative children are? They dream BIG! We all were like that but as we grew older, the conditioning went deeper. We started to hear and internalize other voices. Teachers, parents, friends, colleagues, society projecting their beliefs and fears onto us from what we should look like to what path we should take with our career and everything in between. So how exactly do we “undo” this?
Anchor in the present.
Hear yourself, where is your mind wandering, how are you feeling, are there sensations in your body?
When thoughts or behavior patterns come up for me, I ask myself why and continue to dig deeper than the first answer that crosses my mind. The answer isn’t that surface level response. Journaling, walks and meditation really help me with this.
Once you’ve started to clear away the clutter, ask yourself what your values and beliefs are.
Resources:
I purchased this workbook a few years back which I feel is a powerful tool in starting to identify those limiting beliefs.
Standing in My Power
Wednesday, August 3rd, 2022
I’m finally at a point in my life where I feel in complete control. Not that I have control of what happens but control in painting my reality. Before I tell you about standing in my power, I have to start with where I was.
I used to live life as so many different versions of myself. As an Indian-American, I had a deep-rooted limiting belief of not being enough. I’m sure many first gens can understand this. No matter what, I was never going to be Indian enough nor American enough; I didn’t feel accepted for who I was. So, I people pleased and played it small thinking maybe then I would be accepted. I found myself in situations doing what I felt I “needed” to but feeling inauthentic to who I was. There eventually came a time when I decided, fuck that! So I set myself free.
Our truth is our power.
I am authentic to who I am at my core. I live by my values. I no longer play it small and know I am capable of more. I give myself what I freely gave to others. I am human and strive for progress, having compassion and grace for myself as I evolve. I have boundaries that allow me to maintain my peace and best of all, I validate myself.
Stepping into my personal power isn’t something that happened overnight. It was an accumulation of events and over the next few weeks, I’ll share some of my game changers.
Aligning Yourself with Your Vision
Wednesday, July 27th, 2022
Over the past few weeks, I talked about my planning process. I genuinely believe that if there’s something you desire and you’re willing to put in the work, you can achieve it. It may take longer than you’d like but it’s possible for you! Before we actually set out to achieve the vision, there’s inner work that needs to be done.
We have to call out our limiting beliefs.
Limiting beliefs are false beliefs / stories we tell ourselves that keep us from becoming who we’re meant to be. Most of the time, we aren’t even aware of them because they’re lingering in our subconscious.
Let’s say someone desires to live a healthier life but this isn’t a lifestyle they were accustomed to growing up so they have a limiting belief that they aren’t healthy because they weren’t raised that way. Subconsciously believing that one isn’t healthy but consciously working to become active and eat intentionally means there’s disharmony; the belief and actions are incongruent. When this happens, we tend to get caught off guard in our pursuit. Most people, myself included, engage in self sabotage because the subconscious belief is still operating in the background.
As you plan to achieve your vision, what are some limiting beliefs you may be holding onto?
Addressing our limiting beliefs is a 2 step process, we have to identify them and then reframe and reprogram. Going back the earlier example:
Limiting belief: I’m not healthy because I wasn’t raised that way.
Reframed (empowering) belief: I am living a healthier life and am an example for those in my life.
Once we’ve reframed our limiting belief to an empowering one, we’ve actively got to work on reprogramming our subconscious. This takes time so be kind with yourself. You’re undoing years, maybe even a lifetime, of operating with that old belief. Your new habits are now evidence for the identity you’re creating.
Happy healing, friend.
Planning: Weekly Strides
Wednesday, July 20th, 2022
Now that we know what our monthly targets are, they can be broken down into weekly strides. Each week is an opportunity to take a step towards something bigger.
Each target can be broken down into smaller steps. Something I’m working on this year is strengthening my connection with my body. Our bodies store trauma and emotions and I want to be able to understand what mine is telling me. One way I feel I can improve this is through yoga. One of my monthly targets was to attend a yoga class. This was broken down into a few weekly strides: 1. Find a yoga studio, 2. Attend a session.
Annual Goal: Strengthen connection with body
Monthly Target: Attend yoga session
Weekly Stride: Find a yoga studio and attend a class
Weekly strides help the bigger picture feel more achievable as they’re baby steps towards that goal. They’re also “wins” that help build momentum and add evidence to an identity we’re building for ourselves. Going back to my example, I am in tune with my body; my actions support this.
Although planning and time management are skills I have, I don’t always hit my weekly strides because yano, life happens! I’m flexible with myself and for every stride that isn’t accomplished, I just transfer it over to the following week.
We can do all the planning however, if we don’t have beliefs about ourselves that align with those targets / goals, it’s difficult to achieve. Next week, I’ll cover the inner work needed to truly align ourselves with the life we’re building.
Planning: Monthly Targets
Wednesday, July 13th, 2022
Once I’ve casted my vision for the year, I break it down into monthly targets. I don’t plan all my months in advance; I plan the month as it arrives. At the beginning of every month, I review the month prior. What did I accomplish, what is still in progress, what haven’t I progressed on?
Have an honest conversation with yourself about what you can manage while pushing yourself just a bit.
As I plan the month, I include the targets that are still in progress and the ones I didn’t touch (but planned to) from the previous month. Even if it didn’t happen the previous month, the repetition of writing it down and reminding yourself means it will happen one day. I review my annual goals every month. I look at each focus area and pull 1-3 things that are calling me; this helps me ensure I’m giving attention to every area versus just focusing on one.
There may be times when a certain area of your life needs more attention but remember that we do our best work when we take care of ourselves. Don’t sacrifice your health nor emotional wellbeing.
Monthly targets remind us of where we’re aiming!
Planning: Annual Goals
Wednesday, July 6th, 2022
Towards the end of the year, I start a Notes file on my phone called “Brain Dump.” This is just a list of things I wish to work on and accomplish. I like doing this digitally because once the new year rolls around, I’m able to easily move things and categorize them into a few different focus areas in my life.
I start categorizing my goals into the following focus areas:
Wellness (Mental, Emotional and Physical Health)
Spirituality
Relationships
Fun and Adventure (Bucket List-ish)
Business
Finances
The goal is to live a fulfilled life with work-life integration. The categorization is helpful when planning my monthly targets and ensures I’m addressing all areas of my life.
Stay tuned for planning monthly targets next week!
Planning: Systems
Wednesday, June 29th, 2022
A system I’ve created for myself that works wonders is my planning process.
Monday is filled with laying out my building blocks; I reflect on the week prior and write out this week’s priorities.
I plan my week according to the monthly targets I identify at the beginning of the month. Those monthly targets are pulled from my annual goals. I’m regularly looking at the bigger picture while breaking it down into something easier to digest.
Looking at a long list of annual goals can be overwhelming. Sometimes I too look at my list and ask myself, HOW!?
If my system sounds confusing, I gotchu! The following weeks, I’ll be breaking it down and covering the following categories:
Annual Goals
Monthly Targets
Weekly Strides
Mid-Year Review
Wednesday, June 22nd, 2022
For as long as I can remember, I’ve been a planner. My obsession started with stationary goods and now, I’m able to look back and see a skill I’ve spent these past years building and refining. A skill that’s helped me keep my eye on the bigger picture while making strides towards that vision.
I find that without frequent pauses and reflection, time seems to escape me.
6 months through 2022, the time to reflect is right now.
How do you feel about the last 6 months?
Are you proud of what you’ve accomplished, worked on, built?
What do you desire to work on the remaining 6 months?
What does your mind, body and spirit need to get you there?
2022 will be your year. Let’s eat!
Mastering My Mind:
Living in Harmony
Wednesday, June 15th, 2022
If I had to describe what it is I’m currently feeling about life, it’s a state of flow.
I started living in harmony with my mind, body and spirit. Instead of fixating on balance, I check in with myself daily asking how it is that I’m feeling and what do I need.
I’m in flow and riding the wave of this human experience. I move with the cycles while being aware of the season I’m in, in my own life. At the end of every day, I come home to me; I remind myself of who it is that I am and the highest version of myself that I’m becoming.
Stop seeking control of things outside of yourself and gain a grasp on your inner world. That’s really the only thing within our control.
Mastering My Mind:
The Healing Journey
Wednesday, June 8th, 2022
Like many, at the end of 2020, I found myself depleted. I felt like I was on a hamster wheel and burnout forced me to pause and ask myself: Why did I even hop on? What’s kept me here? I can step off!? What happens when I step off?
I wasn’t living life like I wanted so I decided it was time to do something about it; I allowed myself to ask for help.
I started therapy and my first session left me feeling empowered. My girl gave it to me straight and told me my unhappiness was stemming from me running around in circles with my career. Therapy has been a game changer in my healing journey. I’ve unpacked things I didn’t even realize I was carrying. I feel so much lighter!
What’s something you’re holding onto that should be released?
The Verge of 30
Wednesday, June 1st, 2022
AHHHHH! I’m about to hit 30!!! Insert all the celebration emojis! Ya girl is fucking excited!
I had been talking with my parents for a while about what I should invest in. They’ve dabbled with plenty of investments and raised me to be financially free so I trust their advice. Although this wasn’t the advice received, the conversation planted the seed of curiosity and possibility.
At the beginning of June 2021, I was out on a walk and a brilliant idea had crossed my mind. Great ideas come to mind when I’m out and connected with nature. Instead of investing that money in something outside of me, I’m going to invest it in me instead - leave my 9-5 to grow my business. I almost brushed this thought off but decided to entertain it instead. I thought about the amount I was willing to invest outside of myself and now that I was talking about an investment that I was fully in control of, I was willing to increase the stakes.
I thought to myself “why not!?” I have the money, I have the time and what better way is there to begin my 30’s than with a big ass bang! I mean, it’s not like I’m getting married or having kids anytime soon.
My younger self is fucking proud. I’ve grown into someone who is courageous and confident in her choices and y’all, I’m ready to pop off this coming decade!
Cheers to 30!
Mastering My Mind:
Hearing The Cries
Wednesday, May 25th, 2022
I’m intrigued by human behavior; it’s why I majored in psychology well, that and I also want to help heal. I enjoy getting lost in the depth of my subconscious, understanding why I move the way I do. The downside to this is… I often get lost in other peoples’ minds as well and end up carrying emotional baggage I wasn’t even asked to hold lol. What can I say, I’m an empath!
Do you feel intimidated by solitude? Do you escape your thoughts by drowning them out in the company of others, substances, etc.?
Trust me, I get it! Hearing the voice of our ego isn’t always easy and requires compassion and honesty with oneself.
Pre-pandemic, I was a social butterfly! I was always in the company of others. When 2020 hit, we were all forced into solitude. I heard myself louder than ever; the seasonal depression in the fall of 2020 was hitting harder than it had in the past and I felt at a loss. I felt… lost, almost like I didn’t know myself anymore.
If you felt any of that, I want to remind you that this is your opportunity to redefine yourself.
You get to be whoever the fuck you want to be.
2022 Mood
Tuesday, May 17, 2022
Tucked, putting in the work is my mood all 2022! I’ve got big goals for the upcoming years; goals that make me uncomfortable just thinking about. Since resigning from my full-time job to grow my business, I’m seeing that outside my comfort zone is where greater things lie. Yes, it’s scary and overwhelming at times but you know what’s scarier? Wondering “what if!”
How I spend my time and where I’m investing my energy looks so different than last year and the year before that. I’ve incorporated new habits that I never thought I would be doing. From tuning into my body with yoga to spending my free time reading books. If someone would have told me pre-pandemic that I would be reading books for fun, I never would have believed them!
I’m open to trying new things because I understand that what got me here isn’t what it’s going to take to get me to where I’m headed. It’s going to require more - a version of myself I have yet to meet.
What’s something you can try that brings you closer to the life you desire? You never know what you’ll unlock by simply trying